Odd question...

How do people make friends?
Yesterday I had a bad day. I suddenly realised that the only friends I have are people I've met online that I've never met in person and probably never will.

Yes thats right if I don't include the friends in my computer I don't have even one friend, not a single one!

Which was a rather upsetting thing to think about. Had me crying on and off for the rest of the day and I usually don't cry easily.

Then today I've been thinking about how people make friends. I've come to the conclusion that theirs 3 main times in a persons life that they make friends and these are school, college and work.

I did of course go to school but never made many friends. Out of the few friends I did have I tried to keep in contact with most of them, sent birthday and christmas cards with a letter but I only ever got replys from one friend.

I went to see that friend it must be about 3 or 4 years ago now and she had a kid which was born when she was 18 and I thought maybe motherhood would've made her grow up and be more responsible. It had but only slightly, most of my life other people my age have seemed immature to me and she still did. I haven't been to see her since and don't want to.

So I have no friends left that I'm in contact with from school and I never went to college. I want to work but it seems no ones invented a job I can do yet so I have no chance at the moment of meeting people and making friends at work.

I had a conversation with my mum last night. Well actually what happened is I started crying and asked if she could take me out more because I'm bored and lonely. Her reaction was to look awkward at my crying, she gets really weird about me crying the strangest thing being I've seen her hugging other people who're upset but she never hugs me. She then said she would take me out as much as she could I'd just have to let her know where i wanted to go.

So I spent the next few hours looking online for places I'd really like to go and then went and told mum that I'd found a website that gives details on accessibility of some places so I'd make a list of places I would like to go and then she could decide which ones we go to because I don't want her taking me places where she'l die of boredom.

I'm even thinking going to the supermarket food shopping wold be an exciting day ut for me, thats how bored and lonely I am!

My mum though might not stick to her word about helping me get out more. She said she can't get me out often because she works which is fair enough I'm not asking her to take me out every day. When I suggested we go shopping in the nearest city she said that it'd be the same as the nearest large town their'd be hardly any shops we could get the wheelchair into. This I'm giving her the benefit of doubt over for now and will just keep nagging her to take me to this city that according to her only has 1 or 2 accessible shops. I suspect though that she just doesn't want the hassle of pushing me around.

Whether or not I manage to nag my mum enough for her to take me out more often I still don't know how I'm supposed to make friends. Thats what I really need, a friend. Being able to get out more often would be good but if I had to choose between having a friend who would come round once a week for a cup of tea and a chat or going out once a week I'd choose having a friend.

For now I'll just carry on living my lonely life and hoping that some day I'll have a friend