Anyone like a cup of tea?

I were banned by my mum from doing most housework years ago. It was getting expensive for her replacing everything I dropped when I were doing the washing up. The hoovering made my shoulder dislocate back when it was nowhere near as bad as it is now. Nowadays I don't have to do anything for my shoulder to dislocate, it just falls out of it's socket.
Cooking would be unbelievably dangerous for me so my mum or stepdad cook every evening. To give an idea of what would happen if I tried to cook I'll tell you what happened today when I made a cup of tea and although sometimes I don't manage as many injuries most times I do and I have managed more injuries doing the seemingly simple task of making a cup of tea:

First I lift the kettle and realise their isn't enough water in it for a cup of tea so I get a jug to fill the kettle with enogh water. I have to use a jug to fill the kettle because I can't get the lid off the kettle. I dislocate 2 fingers and my shoulder whilst holding the jug with both hands and pouring the water into the kettle. I turn the kettle on and put myself back together

Next I need to open the tin the teabags are kept in. I dislocate another finger but am impressed that I manage to get the sugar with no dislocations. I put myself back together

I then need to get the milk out of the fridge. Only the fridge is too strong for me and I dislocate a wrist and 3 fingers. I put myself back together

Then I need to get the top of the bottle. The plastic lid comes off easily on this bottle but I soon give up on the foil and get a knife to cut my way in. I'm in and without any injuries, this is a great achievement!

The kettle has boiled. Seen as I hurt my good wrist yesterday (doing such a dangerous activity as flushing the toilet) I need the help of my left hand which quite possibly saves it from being scalded when I spill boiling water all over.
I dislocate my knee whilst I'm stood pouring boiling water seemingly everywhere but into the cup. I also dislocate my shoulder and wrist. I put mself back together

I add the milk then dislocate a finger stirring the tea. I put myself back together

I wrestle the fridge door open again dislocating my wrist and shoulder and subluxing my hip. I put the milk away then put myself back together